Why Should You Compare???

“Don’t compare with others, it will bring sorrows into your life” was what my teachers always said while I was in the school. But I am of the view that comparison has to be perceived from different angles of the prism.

If you compare yourself with the elites and the best, your comparison would breed sorrow. On the other hand, if you compare yourself to the people who stand lower than you, you can derive comfort and let you get rid of the humiliation that you have to face. This shouldn’t be viewed as complacency, though.

When my friends humiliate me saying that I am a dark guy, I always think of the blacks dwelling in Africa other parts of the world and heave a sigh of relief. I tend to compare my skin tone to that of the blacks and feel that if there are billions of people fairer than me, there are equally billions who are darker as well.

Sometimes, when I can’t afford the latest gadgets and other stuffs that my friends buy, I feel very low and I grumble a lot about my economic deficiency. I mourn for not being bestowed upon the same amount of wealth as others. But when I browse the net and come across infinite destitute, homeless, and when I see topless beggars begging along the Jaigaon Street, I realize that I have got a lot indeed. I also tend to become conscious that the wealthiest people are not the ones who have the most; rather, they are the ones who need the least.

At times, I feel that nobody in this world know me and that; I am just an extra being in this world without any mandate as such. But when I think of my own small circle of friends and fans, I feel that I have a purpose for coming into this world. There are Hollywood and Bollywood celebrities with millions and billions of fans, but I am a star in my own way. I have few people who know that I am Sonam, which is more than enough for me. I also console myself by contemplating on billions of socially low standing people who do not have as much friends as I do.

In a nutshell, if you want to get rid of the woeful experiences that you are enduring, I am of the view that it is wise to compare and get yourselves relieved, rather than nagging about your shortcomings; if u compare judiciously, you can derive optimum merriment.

Self-imprisonment

Young and beautiful birds, out of sheer curiosity, gets into a cage thinking that they would have a marvelous time inside it, oblivious of the consequences they would have to face. On the other hand, the birds, which are already in the cage, are equally eager to get emancipated from the cage that they are confined in.

Parents suffer for many decades to bring up their children, educate them and so on. They tend to forgo their needs, just for the sake of their children’s wants. But later, when their children grow up and attain maturity, the kindness, love, care and sacrifices made by their parents vanish into thin air and the most important component of their life seems to be their spouse. They are ready to do everything just for his/her sake; even to the extent of attempting suicide and other conducts, inapt of a civilized human being.

Gradually, when our parents attain old age and when they need our help the most, we reciprocate their kindness with cruel and callous acts. People even tend to go to the extent of driving their parents to the outskirts of human settlements.

I feel we are insane because we are shunning our parents and prioritizing the partner that we know just for few years which I feel is too less a time to know everything about a person. An individual with whom you share a bed for a night or two cannot just take the place of your spouse and more so, they can't be more important than the parents who have been sacrificing for decades altogether!

Do our parents crack every sinew and muscle to bring us up expecting such treatments that are unbecoming of a son or a daughter? Don’t they groom us with love and care expecting us to lend a helping hand when they grow old and frail?

In Buddhist philosophy, we have something called tha dam tshi and ley ju dey which tells humankind to be faithful and that, every cause has its own ripple effects. The effects of any cause that we breed would strike us one day or the other. Therefore, the effects of the spiteful deeds that we do to our parents would be unfathomable!

I view marriage as a trap and almost everybody go in search of their own trap. Marriage is a kind of self-imprisonment from where most of the people yearn to be set free. Ultimately, love tends to end up in marriage and there are few faithful people who are happy with their marriage while most of them stay together out of compulsion. I believe that compulsion would never beget perfection.

But this is neither to point out that marriage is unimportant, nor am I trying to say marriage should be banned like the government did with tobacco. It is very important and I am also an outcome of a marriage. But what I am trying to emphasize on is that, marriage is not just for the sake of procreation; there are many more important values that it entails.

Moreover, if marriage has to be successful, the partners have to be thoroughly scanned by each other through different means. Marriage without proper understanding between the partners would lead to a baseless relationship. Marriage is not like signing a contract for a certain period, rather, it is a sacred bond meant to remain as long as you live. A couple who consent to marry should also agree to share not just happiness, but sorrows, whatsoever!

Therefore, a person with whom you talk over a phone, or a person with whom you chat on social networking sites like facebook, Hi5, MSN, et al or a person with whom you go for a walk or two cannot miraculously turn out to be your partner for life.

I am neither a person who has experienced marriage, nor am I a love guru but I have written this out of my sheer concern towards the kind of outlook that most of the Bhutanese have towards marriage.

Hard work begets Success

_{Most of the stereotypical people believe that success is the outcome of the luck alone. A bit more rationale group says that it is the combination of both hard work and luck. Conversely, I am of the view that success is directly proportionate to the amount of hard work invested in any endeavor that one ventures into and there is nothing to do with the so-called luck.}

_{There is no luck in absence of hard work; it’s only the diligence that fosters good fortune. If one tends to rely exclusively on luck and do not prepare for the endeavors that we venture into, then, it’s no better than fighting a losing battle. If one works for around fourteen hours a day, seven days a week, there’s no doubt that he would be lucky. But on the other hand if a businessman locks up his shop for months and hopes his luck to bestow him with a lot of profits in his business, his wish cannot materialize no matter how long he waits.}

_{Be it in terms of academic or co-curricular activities luck doesn’t have any hand in one’s success. Had it been otherwise, the trend would have been such that the brightest and hardworking people fail and the dullest yet the luckiest excel. Even in co-curricular activities if one solely provokes and venerates the local deities without having a rigorous practice, there is no way that one can excel in the activities that he partakes.}

_{Moreover, even if we succeed because of our luck, it’s not a genuine success because that particular success is not the fruition of one’s own potential. It’s like a boy flinging stone up into the sky and coincidentally hitting a bird. We can’t just say that the boy has succeeded in killing the bird; it’s rather a coincidence.}

_{If one puts cent percent in the work that he ventures into, he is bound to succeed. When preparation meets a due opportunity that’s where luck prevails. Therefore, I firmly reiterate that success is the dividend that we acquire as a result of the sweat that we shed during the times of our endeavor because more one sweat, the luckier he seems to become.}

This was written as an assignment while at RIM and this is not my real view